The Day the Goblin King Surfed a Web
by MikkiANNE
Summary: The Goblin King buys a laptop for the first time and experiences the cunning ways of the internet. Hilarity insured. Two-shot, maybe three?
1. Chapter 1

_This idea came to me while I was (should've been studying) thinking about Jareth trying to use a computer. This kinda is like a little parody of Jennifer but in a funny sense. _

_This was originally going to be a one-shot. But I decided to slit it up and make it a two-shot _and _maybe add another chapter, it depends on my muse._

_Enjoy._

Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth.

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**Location: **The Goblin City, Jareth's study**  
Date and Time: **January 8, 2004 – 12.00pm

He had recently bought the new HP Compaq Business Notebook.

That's right.

Jareth, the Goblin King had just bought his very first laptop.

The idea of having something non-magical in his castle was ludicrous and an absolute nonsense thought but after he had seen an ad from a magazine he read from a teenager who wished away his brother, he had second thoughts.

He was very new to this new kind of technology. The last thing he needed was something that was complicate in its way. You see, the Underground didn't have electricity. But what the Goblin King wanted, he got. Well, not _everything_.

Jareth finally placed his new toy on his desk grabbed the instructions, and read - or rather skimmed through them. He then tossed them aside and pressed on the latch that opened the computer.

"Where is the 'on' button?" he asked himself searching the laptop. After finding it, he pressed it and was greeted with a picture on his screen with the letters H and P across it.

As the instruction book instructed, Jareth followed the steps and made his own account, naming it 'Jareth G.K' using his title because he has no last name.

He then did the basic stuff, like changing your desktop background and screensaver, how to use the mouse pad, and how to connect up to a network, which he found very frustrating and almost threw the piece of technology out of the window.

Now having being caught up with the basics, Jareth could now explore.

He clicked the 'start' button and opened Internet Explorer. The _Yahoo! Search _website appeared on the screen.

"Hmm…" he said while tapping his gloved finger upon his lips. "What to search?"

For some unknown reason, Jareth had the nerve to type one girls name in. Using one finger, he tapped each letter lightly.

Sarah Williams.

He did not why he wanted to search the champion of his Labyrinth. He finally pressed 'Search', and awaited the results.

The results of his search could not have come faster. He scrolled down the page and found many links that mentioned her name; however, one link caught his eye. The description read:

_Thirty-three year old model, Sarah Williams, has recently stated that she would be retiring from modelling to focus on her second novel, and eventually more in the near future. For to read more click __here__._

And so, Jareth clicked the link. The link showed an article that he would read later. He scrolled down the page and a variety of pictures of Sarah were shown. She certainly grew up over the passed eighteen years, and was still absolutely beautiful. Her face lost its baby fat, making her face look longer. Her normally plumb, pink lips were now a lot thinner.

He scrolled down the page of pictures; each was more beautiful than the other.

Once Jareth reached the bottom of the page, he noticed that there was one pictured that was different from all the others.

Sarah was leaning up against a mirror, wearing almost nothing at all. The backs of her hands were pressed up against her big breasts and the palms were on the mirror. The reflection of Sarah was looking at him. His eyes travelled down the pictured, and noticed she was wearing the most ridiculous piece clothing he'd ever seen. It basically was black type of lace material around her waist, a triangular shape pointing down her buttocks then eventually getting thinner.

"What in the world?"

Jareth could not stop staring at the picture. Her breasts were full, and her curves practically spoke to him to run his hands down her body.

He groaned as he felt a part of himself stiffen. "First, a cold shower is in order. Then, I think it would great to see how my champion has been going," he said as he closed his laptop and stood up.

He looked down at the stiffened body part. He solely blamed Sarah for that.

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Like it, hate it? Did anyone guess why I chose Jan 8 for the date? Let me know in your review. The picture of Sarah in this story is actually a REAL picture of Jennifer Connelly. Just Google image her name, you can't miss it.


	2. Chapter 2

_This idea came to me while I was (should've been studying) thinking about Jareth trying to use a computer. This kinda is like a little parody of Jennifer but in a funny sense. _

_This was originally going to be a one-shot. But I decided to slit it up and make it a two-shot _and _maybe add another chapter, it depends on my muse._

_Enjoy._

Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth.

**

* * *

Location: **New York, New York  
**Date and Time: **January 8, 2004 – 1.30pm

As Sarah left the Elite Model Management building for the last time, she felt accomplished. She had been modelling for seventeen years now, and she finally decided it was time to retire. During her years as a model, she appeared in films making small cameos, appeared in TV commercials, and wrote a novel.

Now, only turning thirty-three almost a month ago, she wanted to work on her second novel, and eventually have a family. Sarah felt it was necessary to retire, as she was getting older.

She hailed for a taxi, which came to her. She told the driver the directions to her apartment, leaned back into the seat and smiled at she took one last look at the building she had worked in for seventeen years.

Once she arrived at her apartment building, she paid the taxi driver, walked into the building, and into the elevator.

Sarah walked down the hall and took out her keys. She opened the door and her eyes fell to the floor where she found glitter sparkling up at her and a piece of paper folded in half.

"What the –?" she asked, confused, and picked up the paper. She unfolded it and it revealed to be a photograph of a photo shoot she had done when she was twenty-two.

"Ah. You're home," drawled a voice coming from in front of her. Sarah took her eyes off the picture and they fell upon the Goblin King standing in the middle of her living in all his glory. He had not aged at day.

"What are you doing in my apartment?" she tried to keep her voice steady, but her voice betrayed her.

He raised his arm and pulled a crystal from the air, then started twirling it. "Well, as I was so bored in my castle today, I thought I'd give my champion a visit."

Sarah huffed, not believing one word coming from his mouth. "I highly doubt that. Why are you _really_ here?"

He annoyingly tossed the crystal ball around, and it was getting on Sarah's last nerve. She wanted to snatch the crystal out of his hands and throw it at his head for being an annoying prat!

"Well, today, I bought my very first laptop computer," he said. Sarah had to suppress a chuckle but failed. "I searched your name on _Yahoo!_ And you want to know what I found?" he continued over her chuckles. She straightaway stopped laughing as she heard his question.

"What?"

He strode over to her, raised a hand and caressed it over her shoulder and down her arm until his hand connected with hers and he pulled the pictured out of her hands. She shivered as she felt him pull away.

"I found this picture on a website stating you were retiring from modelling to work on your second book," he said as he held up the picture in her face. "I found it quite vulgar and arousing at the same time."

She opened her mouth to rebel back but Jareth had interrupted her.

"I wonder, dear Sarah, what happened to the little, spoilt and naive girl I met eighteen years ago?" he smirked, moving his head closer to her.

She felt grounded on the floor. She couldn't move her legs, she felt over powered by his seduction.

Power.

He had no power over her, but why does she feel like he does?

"The girl you knew grew up," she finally said, looking up into his eyes. He moved back and nodded.

"Hmm…. I think I'm going to like this new you, Sarah. But I have to know one thing; what is that material around your waist and that thin, string going down and down?" he asked, slyly, looking at the picture like it was a piece of meat.

She felt her face warm up one hundred degrees higher. She was mortified, petrified, and mortally embarrassed. "It's called a thong. Women wear them as underwear," she said quietly.

Jareth chuckled. "I should come up here more often. Things have definitely changed."

Sarah groaned and went to lie on her couch, covering her face still feeling mortified.

"Say, Sarah, do you have any of these 'thongs'?"

That was the last straw for her. She sat up, grabbed a pillow and threw it at the Goblin King. But too late, he was already gone, only leaving behind traces of glitter on her floor.

"Stupid, pig," she muttered as she cleaned up the glitter with a dustpan and broom. It was then she realised he still had the picture. He will be back.

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Hmm... another chapter to end it? You call it, readers. What do you want to see in the next chapter?


	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry this is a bit late; I got writer's block... again. It's kinda hard writing for something that has no plot. Well anyway, this is the final chapter of this short story. I hope you like it._

Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth.

**

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**

Location: New York, New York, Sarah's apartment  
**Date and Time: **January 8, 2004 – 9.59 pm

"_What do you mean, Beth? I thought that we had something," he said, his heart feeling heavy in his chest._

_Beth sighed. "We _did _have something, Jareth, but—_

"What?" exclaimed Sarah as she stopped typing and stared at that one word with eyes as wide as plates. "How is that possible?"

"Well, you see, dear, when you think about someone while writing, he gets stuck inside your head. Writing erotica, I see?"

Sarah turned around in her chair and looked up to see the Goblin King looking over her shoulder with an arrogant look upon his ageless face.

"Ugh, you again," she grumbled. "You know it's rude to look over someone's shoulder? And, no, for your information, I'm not writing erotica."

Jareth ignored her and walked down a hallway to where her bedroom was. Sarah immediately ran after him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she cried as she entered her room.

He opened her top drawer, and started to rummage through it. "After I left today, I wanted to know more about these 'thongs' and why exactly they look the way they do."

He went through several more drawers before finally finding her underwear. Her face went cherry red. He held up a black, lace thong. She went to snatch it out of his hand, but he was too quick.

"You know, this looks like the one you wore in that picture," he drawled as a smirk appeared on his face.

"Arrogant pig," she muttered under her breath as he put the underwear back in the drawer.

He looked around her room. It wasn't a big room, but if there wasn't a queen-sized bed taking up a good bit of the room, it would look a bit larger. Jareth went over and sat on the bed.

"So, as I was saying. I did a search on this type of underwear, and I found some juicy information about it," he said, still smirking.

Sarah leaned up against her drawers. "I'm sure you did."

His smirked seemed to get bigger. "Those thongs are used for sexual pleasure as well as underwear." Jareth got up stalked close to Sarah, his hair brushing against her neck. "Do you, sweet, innocent, Sarah; wear a thong when you have sex with men?"

She was silent for a while. Something clicked in her body that made her head snap up and lips connected with his. Jareth's arms wound around her small waist. As soon as his hands made contact with her waist, she pulled back but was still trapped in his embrace.

"That's none of your business but my own," she said firmly.

"If it's not my business," he whispered into her ear, his arms tightening on her waist. "Why did you kiss me?"

_Shit. _Why _did_ she kiss him? "Spur of the moment?" she tried her best not to make it sound like a question.

He pulled her head towards his with his fingers on her chin. His lips moved ever so slightly over hers. "That I don't believe," he whispered. His mouth moved over her cheek. She felt her knees go weak and she nearly collapsed in his arms, however he kept her in balance. "I really like this new you, Sarah, precious."

She didn't say anything in response. She didn't know what to say.

"Give in, Sarah, give in," he told her as he moved even closer. She had to pull back slightly.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Give into your dreams – me," he replied, his mouth turning into a familiar smirk.

She laughed, uncontrollably. "_You_?" she questioned, trying to breath through her laughs. "Giving into you would mean that I would have to like you, which I do not," she finished as her laughs died down.

"You don't have to like me. You can _fear me_ and _love me_."

She heard an echo from the past and glanced up at his face. He was serious. "Why should I give into you? There are many men out there—"

He silenced her with a kiss on the side of her mouth. "Why not me?" he pulled back with a smirk. "I handsome, a great king, handsome—"

Sarah snorted. "Arrogant? Selfish? Conceited?"

"Sarah, stop fighting and give in. I know your dreams, I know what you want, I can give you what you want," he pleaded.

_Yeah. Stop fighting and get into those pants._

_Shut up! _Her brain fought.

His hand cupped her cheek. His thumb ran up and down her cheek. "Stop thinking and give in. Give in to all your instincts," he said, softly.

With a small nod of her head, her lips connected with his, and she lost all control.

_Two hours later…_

**Date and Time:** January 8, 2004 – 11.58 pm

With a satisfied sigh, Sarah rolled over into the nook of Jareth's arm. His fingers softly caressed her arm.

"That was…" she trailed off. Honestly, there were no words on how to describe what had just happened.

"Oh, _I know_," Jareth replied, smirking widely. He placed a kiss on her forehead. "What's the time?"

Sarah rummaged through her bedside table and found a small clock. "It just turned eleven fifty-nine. Why?"

With a sigh, he moved closer to Sarah's face, his breath teasing her. "Every year on January 8 at eleven fifty-nine, I make a birthday wish."

She gasped. "It's your birthday?"

Jareth chuckled in response. "Now, do you want to know my wish?"

"Not really," she muttered quietly, clearly pissed off at the turn of events.

He placed his lips on hers, and kissed her soundly. He moved over to her ear. "To have you," he whispered as the clock beeped midnight.

_The End._


End file.
